So I did pass the test. As soon as I submitted the APBCC exam I then hit a second box saying I had completed and bingo there was my score. That was Sunday afternoon. Felt weird because I have had this over my head for months. I stepped down from being the Associate Director for Credentialing and Certification for the SCA to actually get ready for the test that I technically oversaw.

I stepped down from my position as Associate Director because everything I started studying and rereading what a chaplain is and what they do, then went to work and felt under valued and that my role as a chaplain was not understood by management, the juxtaposition of what I knew about chaplaincy and how it was viewed at work was really messing with my mind.

However my call is to serve rurally not at one of the big sites, so how can I expect the organization to keep up with the standards. That was my excuse for the company. Given time, maybe they would see what trained chaplains really do vs. “just go pray”. And by the way, if you ask someone who is dying and has not been to church in decades then asked by the hospice nurse, “would you like a chaplain visit?”, you will get a hard no. That and I am not your generic chaplain. Just say’n.

But I digress…. point is trying to study for a test that affirms what I know to be the art of chaplaincy then going to work and seeing the void was taking a physical toll. By the end of May it was clear that the conflux was really mucking with me, so I stepped back from my role as Associate Director. Tough to pass people, or fail, taking the test that you are prepping for while you know that actual 9-5 work has no idea of what you do.

Now to be clear, there are two parts of the test, the 100 multi-question and the simulated patient exam. I oversaw the latter. So there is a separate group of folk who take care of the details for each candidate such as: master’s degree, references, checks on CPE’s and hours served in the position. The Association already had all of that dirt on me because I had taken and passed the test 5 years ago. The difference was that when I took the test the organization had not developed the higher tier of APBCC-HPC. (Advanced Practice Board Certified Chaplains- Hospice Palliative Care). I did, in my role assign reviewers and reviewed the simulated pat exams for these candidates as well as the APBCC, BCC and CC levels.

So in February I got onto Canvas, the platform for the module and test and when I signed up for the test didn’t see an APBCC-HPC listed, so I wrote the reviewers and got the answer that there was only one test APBCC and I just needed my hours. Asked 2x to make sure I was taking the HPC part because I funky like that.

I called my Biggy boss and asked about the hours, as in should I add the hours since my first test or am I all set. All set was the answer. If I had them, I had them. There were also huge cuts and changes of staff in the agency due to Trump and his cuts, save that for another blog.

So I cut back on my side hustle as associate director, then worked hard to study knowing that the HPC part was critical to the fact I am a hospice chaplain. Took the test and the score stated I had passed. That was Sunday.

Monday I called the association and asked them to send me the real certification paper so I could frame it. My original was ruined in the flood 2 1/2 years ago, plus it will expire soon. I worked hard and I wanted the swag, fancy like. I could print one and put it in my file at work, but I wanted have it framed in my office. This will remind me that I do know what I am doing when I am questioned at work.

This must be a dyslexia over achiever thing in that I need to prove to my self I know something when others question if I do. For example, chaplains officiate memorials. That means that they meet with the family, help them design the last service for their loved one, pick out the readings, music, ect. then actually show up and officiate then if there is a burial, officiate that as well. Work told me that chaplains “just show up and say a few words”. Well if the patient is affiliated and has a Rabbi, Imam, Pastor or Priest, sure, the chaplain may be invited to read a passage. But that generally does not exist here. I know how to marry, bury and bless. Full stop.

So I call the association to make sure I could get a swag version of the certificate and then got the news that I did not take the HPC exam, but the APBCC exam. I went in to warrior mode. My viking heritage came out full force.

Emails back and forth then by the end of the day a call from my biggie boss saying there was a mistake on their part and it would be fixed. There were a variety of reasons, some reasonable, some just dropped balls.

This morning I got a text from the biggie boss saying that the certification paper will be sent, but ” don’t count it will be there under the Christmas Tree”. Mother of God. Just send something that says I passed under APBCC-HPC. I have agreed to teach a master’s level class on Death with Dignity for the association this spring. It will be offered internationally and quid pro quo or heads will role.