As a hospice chaplain I am asked to do funerals often. Sometimes I get asked to marry a couple that have lived most of their lives together and they want marry when one goes on to hospice.

Yesterday I got a call to officiate a wedding in February, not associated with hospice at all, but because the couple is having a small outside (Vermont) wedding in my town and am I available. Did not hesitate at all, of course. I love weddings! Here are the rules.

1. Go to the town hall, get the paper work fully done before the wedding and make sure you are handing me the marriage certificate not the application the day of the wedding.
2. I meet with the couple together to go over the details, but also to ask questions to get to know them.
3. I meet with the bride and groom separately to make sure there are no red flags.
4. If they want to write their own vows, great. If they want traditional Church of Scotland vows: ” I ……….. take you….. to be my wife/husband and before God and these witness, I promise to be your loving and faithful wife/husband: in plenty and in want, in joy and sorrow, in sickness and and health ,as long as we both shall live.” Note not one above the other, but equal and no promise of obeying unless they both say it.
5. Literally tie the knot from the colors of each of the clans.
6. Request the friends and family to support the couple in all circumstances.
7. NOT allowed so smush cake on each other. I will tare up the certificate.

She is on it, going to the town hall and getting the application , then will research the knot tying so it won’t be a fluster cluck the day of. (we will practice it of course).

She then asked how much will I cost. Well that is up to them. I have no idea of their budget, or finances, or what financial obstacles they face. I ask only to be paid with the respect of making sure they do their homework and that we meet prior. If they can’t do that, they can find someone else.

I take funerals seriously because it is the last thing you can do for your loved one. Marriages I take seriously because I don’t want a couple to marry for the wrong reasons. But I gotta say that doing a Scottish wedding in Vermont is one that I would almost pay to do! I just hope it is on -20 degrees the day of.